Joel James “Jim” Duffy

Celebrating Dad's Life

December 4, 1924-May 17, 2019

Our father Joel James Duffy, 94, passed away Friday, May 17, 2019, in Lenexa, Kansas.  Son of Charles and Margaret (Barr) Duffy, he was youngest of eight children born December 4, 1924 in Miami, Florida.  The family moved to Washington DC where he graduated from Woodrow Wilson High School, Chevy Chase, Maryland in 1942.

While growing up in Washington DC, Dad made his mark in both baseball and golf as an athlete.  As a child we can still remember stories being told about the four home runs he hit in one game, or the no-hitter he pitched. The knuckle ball was his favorite pitch and would often pitch batting practice to us and could still crank the ball over the fence well into his late forties. He had his first golf clubs at a very early age, first hole in one as a young child and continued playing well into his eighties. Often he would win the long drive competition. Many still talk about his scores and club records, but perhaps most important to Dad, was his time spent coaching others on the golf course, especially young golfers.  The basement still has hundreds of his clubs hanging from the rafters.

Dad married his sweetheart, Mary Mildred Houle in December of 1953. Mom provided a perfect balance to Dad's natural tendency to perform and accomplish tasks.  Dad chose well! Mom preceeded Dad in death, passing away in 1988.  Survivors include: son James Patrick (Pam) Duffy of Newton, Kansas, daughter Theresa Rose Duffy of Phillipsburg, New Jersey, daughter Kathleen Mary (Joe) Webb of DeSoto, Kansas, son Callan Russell Duffy deceased, son Thomas Owen (LeeAnne) Duffy of DeSoto, Kansas, fifteen grandchildren, Sarah Hershberger, Kevin Duffy, Ellen Gibson, Kyle Ward, Conner Duffy, Danny Blades, Callie Weber, Mary Pike, Jimmy Duffy, Jennifer Duffy, Jason Duffy, Christina Duffy, T.J. Duffy, Nichi Larson and Lanee Newell; and sixteen great grandchildren.

Dad spent many years serving the Navy as a civilian engineer.  As a self-taught maverick of sorts, he aspired to a high performance level, always being proud of his "lieutenant commander" status when serving aboard ship testing his prototype designs.  He could often be heard saying rather bluntly, "stay out of the way" if you can't help!" The years serving the Navy were some of his proudest and happiest of all. He loved to reminisce about those times!

Our father taught us the value of family.  The Duffy family name was connected to everything around us growing up as children and today as adults. Today, our homes are filled with memories and family artifacts thanks to Dad making sure we understood where we came from and then insisting we pass them along to our own children.  A family legacy was so very important to our father!

There was never an excuse to do anything in a mediocre fashion. We were taught from a very early age that there was only one acceptable version, and that was doing it to the best of our ability every time.  This was not only modeled by our dad, but was politely demanded.  I can remember once making a measurement on the model railroad and then receiving "the engineer look." I immediately knew, there is only one acceptable measurement, and then re-measured to the closest sixteenth and that eventually sufficed. Lesson learned!  Taking the course of least resistance meant going above the ordinary.  But, don't draw attention to yourself for doing what is expected or what is right!

As children, Mom and Dad always took us on vacations.  Camping and long travel were universal favorites.  Memories in the Florida Keys, Niagara Falls, Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, Badlands, Black Hills, Colorado Rockies and even little Lindsborg, Kansas are favorites, and now, many of us have passed along many of these experiences to our children and grandchildren. Thanks Mom and Dad for again passing along the value of family!

Dad may not have shown affection in an outward fashion.  In fact, I don't recall him ever saying or rarely hearing him say I love you.  But, his actions provided glimpses or bits and pieces that his love of family was secure. Like the time one of us did not want to get our new shiny black patent leathers wet, so dad put her feet on top of his feet keeping them shiny and dry.  It may seem somewhat trivial, but the memory and image will last forever.

Thanks dad for building model railroads with me, teaching us how to swing a golf club, fixing my 1968 Plymouth Fury, building, covering and flying model airplanes, how to cook a Cornish hen over a campfire, showing me how to step into a pitch, riding Harley Davidson's together,  teaching us how to drive a car, picking and setting up the perfect Christmas Tree, hitting the sweet spot when kicking a field goal, learning how to drive the tractor when cutting grass, learning how to use a table saw, teaching us the glorious power of love and forgiveness and most important of all, how to use the kitchen table as a workbench without getting Mom mad.

It has been a lot of fun dad!  Here's hoping you are hitting them long and straight on God's fairway. Make sure to tell Mom and Callan hello from all of us! We love you.

Visitation will be 6-8 p.m. Tuesday, May 21 at the Amos Family Funeral Home. Graveside services will be 11:00 a.m. Wednesday, May 22 at the Resurrection Cemetery, Lenexa, KS. Cremation.